Main Character Energy: How to Stop Being an Extra in Your Own Life

We’ve all had that moment.  You’re sitting in a meeting, biting your tongue instead of sharing your bold idea. You’re replaying an argument, wishing you’d stood up for yourself. You’re scrolling through social media, comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.  

Suddenly, it hits you: Why does everyone else get to be the star of their story—and I’m stuck playing a background role?  Welcome to the quiet crisis of Main Character Energy deficiency.  

What Exactly Is Main Character Energy?  Contrary to TikTok trends, MCE isn’t about narcissism or forcing yourself into the spotlight. It’s the art of:  

- Owning your agency (you’re the author, not a passive observer)  

- Honoring your boundaries (your needs aren’t negotiable)  

- Embracing your quirks (flaws make protagonists relatable)  

- Directing your focus (your energy isn’t wasted on bit players)  

Think Bridget Jones owning her chaos, Moana defying tradition to chart her course, or Ted Lasso leading with radical optimism.  

3 Signs You’ve Lost Your Main Character Energy  

1️⃣ You’re stuck in  

Life feels repetitive: same routines, same compromises, same self-doubt.  

2️⃣ Your inner critic writes the script  

Every decision gets edited by “What will people think?”  

3️⃣ You’re auditioning for others’ stories  

Saying “yes” to things that drain you, just to fit someone else’s narrative.  

How to Reclaim Your MCE (No Flawless Hero Arc Required)  

1. Rewrite Your Origin Story  

Most of us absorb limiting roles early: the peacekeeper, the overachiever, the invisible one.  

Try this:  

Reflect on a defining moment where you shrank to please others. Write a new version where you:  

- Spoke your truth  

- Walked away  

- Prioritized your joy  

Example:  

Old script: “I stayed quiet to avoid conflict.”  

New MCE script: “I respectfully disagreed—and the world didn’t end.”  

2. Cast Your Supporting Characters Wisely  

Main characters surround themselves with allies who reflect their values.  

Audit your relationships:  

- Who amplifies your energy?  

- Who treats you like a backup dancer?  

3. Embrace the “Messy Middle”  

Protagonists aren’t perfect—they grow through awkward phases and plot twists.  

MCE Mantra:  

“I don’t need to have it all figured out to take centre stage.”  

Why Main Character Energy Isn’t Selfish  

Critics will claim MCE is “self-centred.” Ignore them.  

Science backs this up:  

- Studies show self-compassion boosts resilience (Neff, 2003)  

- Setting boundaries reduces burnout (APA, 2020)  

When you own your energy, you inspire others to do the same.  Main Character Energy isn’t about being the loudest in the room—it’s about being the truest version of yourself.  

Start small today:  

- Wear the outfit that makes you feel powerful  

- Say “no” to a request that drains you  

- Dance in your kitchen to your favourite song  

How will YOU channel Main Character Energy this week? 

Amanda Twigg is an Energy Therapist, & consultant located in Brisbane, Australia. Service information is available here.